I sent my novel off to agents. It’s a big deal. I’ve been working on it for years. Years and years.
I had it ready to go and still put off sending it for actual months. Two months. It was too scary. Compiling the emails was also scary. And then, it was time to press send.
Before this moment, I honestly thought I’d be fine about it, super cool. But, when it came, I suddenly became extremely conscious of my breath, it was coming out too fast and then, catching in my chest and not coming out at all. My heart was surely beating too hard? It was going to shake itself right out. My hand was shaking, the cursor moving awkwardly across the screen to that awful, blue rectangle. The white arrow lingering over this suddenly terrifying four-letter word.
I could suddenly feel the years I had put into the pages pressing against my skin. They were immense. They were life-changing. And they all culminated in this one, insignificant, anti-climactic moment. After this, there could be nothing. It could be “The End” – nothing more ever coming from that project that had taken over my life for so long.
CLICK
The most significant click I’ve ever heard in my life.
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